Chapstick and a fight Chapter One the Confiscation
by The Fresh Princess
Summary: NEXT CHAPTER IS IN Napoleon gets into his first fight with Pedro, has his favorite chapstick taken away in English class, and they are out of steak at home. What a day.NEXT CHAPTER IS IN! please READ AND REVIEW
1. Default Chapter

**_Chapter one: The Confiscation_**

Napoleon Dynamite sat at the dining room table with Kip as Uncle Rico walked out from his room.

"Aren't you gonna give us breakfast?" Napoleon asked as he armed his pockets with the usual handful of tots.

"Come on Napoleon! You're almost a _man _get your own breakfast," Uncle Rico replied, clearly cranky.

"Maybe I will," Napoleon said, "_Gosh,_" he finished under his breath.He sighed loud and long and got himself a pop tart while Uncle Rico rummaged around the kitchen for steak.

"Oh great we're out of steak!" Kip today you're going to have to go to the store and get some more!" Uncle Rico demanded and slammed his fist down on the countertop. Napoleon just watched the two while he broke a stale pop tart in half.

"Sorry, I have to pick up Lafawnduh at the bus stop," He said pulling up a knee sock.

Uncle Rico glared at them and then became refocused on Napoleon, "Go feed Tina breakfast before you miss the bus, because if you miss it, I'm not driving you."

Napoleon didn't bother to respond, so he grabbed the glass pan of smelly llama food and went out to feed Tina.

Napoleon got off the bus at school and whipped out his trusty chapstick. His lips hurt. _Real bad_. He rubbed the non-scented original flavored stick over his dry, cracked lips. He started to walk into school when he noticed s squishing sound made by each step on his left foot. He looked down and frowned. Llama poop. "_Gross_," Napoleon said as he strayed off the walk to wipe his foot on the grass, then continued into the school.

Napoleon sat up at the lunch table and looked over at Pedro who was slouched over his meal of a corn dog and peas. Napoleon dipped a tot into his ketchup, "Why didn't you ride your bike to school?" Pedro bit his corn dog, "I sold it." Napoleon, for once had his eyes fully open, "Why? Your bike was so _sweet_. You caught some serious air off that thing, like three feet." "I'm going to buy Summer something with the money," He said shrugging. "Summer Wheatly? I thought you gave up on her?" Napoleon said, clearly disagreeing with Pedro's decision. "Well when building her a cake didn't work I figured it's probably because she don't like cake. I'll build her something she does like," Pedro explained. "_Idiot_! I can't believe you did that," Napoleon saidm growing repulsed. Pedro just shrugged. They sat silently before Napoleon spoke again, "I think we're having our first fight." "Fight?" Pedro said, confused. "Yeah, we don't talk to eachother for a few days and they we say sorry or forgeth what we fought about and agree that it was stupid," Napoleon said before he looked back down at his tots. "Oh I see, well then I'll talk to you in a couple of days," Pedro said as he started on his peas. "Yeah," Napoleon said quietly.

English class was boring and there had been a sub, making it more boring. Napoleon could feel his lips were dry once again. They hurt _bad._ He pulled out his chapstick and was only millimeters from his cracked, dried lips when he was interrupted by the teachers squeaky, annoying voice, "What are you doing? This is _English_ class, not _makeover_ time!" Napoleon let out a long sigh, "I need my chapstick. My lips hurt _bad._ It's not my fault that I have to lug it around in my pocket all day in case my lips hurt, I have less room for my tots." "Well this is English, your lips will have to wait," The teacher said and started to turn around as the class giggled at the situation. Napoleon frowned, "It's just chapstick, _gosh_." The teacher heard his comment and quickly turned back on her heal, "Excuse me are you talking back?" "No," Napoleon said, still gripping his chapstick in the ready position. "Well give me your chapstick, I'm going to have to take it," The teacher said holding out her hand. "But this is my only chapstick are you crazy? _Idiot_," Napoleon said, upset. "Young man, you can get lip balm from the nurse, but I'm going to have to take your chapstick _now_," She said as she stuck her hand out farther. "_Gross_! Lip balm is a sorry excuse for chap stick, lip balm is for poseurs, plus it comes in all those _gross _flavors. What are you a sick-o?" Napoleon said as he put the cap on his chapstick. The classes giggles turned to snorts of laughter as the teacher came and grabbed the chapstick out of his hand, "Now you hush up, because of that you won't be getting your chapstick back," The teaher went back to the desk and put the used chapstick in her briefcase, "Quiet down class and get back to work." While the class was working Napoleon was quite upset. He angrily shoved a tot into his mouth from his pocket, he knew he had to get his chapstick back from that sick-o. But he would need help, but he'd have to call Deb because he and Pedro were in a fight and he would have to wait a few days to talk to him again. Napoleon opened his book but was still frowning at his sick-o teacher.


	2. Chapter 2: No Chapstick, No Steak, No Pe...

**Chapter Two: No Chapstick, No Steak, No Pedro, One big problem**

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****Napoleon sat quietly in the chair in the principal's office. The room was quiet as the principal spent minuets staring at Napoleon, surprised that he had been sent over something as silly as chapstick. 

The principal folded his arms on the desk, "So Napoleon, why do you think you're here?" 

"Because the teacher is _retarded_," Napoleon snapped back. 

The principal gave is disagreeing look, "Didn't she tell you that you could just get some lip balm from the nurse? Or buy some new chapstick?" 

Napoleon let out one of his long sighs before he responded again, "Are you a sick-o too? I already told her that lip balm is for poseurs, or at least _girls._ And I don't want to buy new chapstick, now they come in _gross_ flavors and scents like lip balm. _Gross_." 

"Okay Napoleon, I understand that you feel strongly so I'll ask the sub if she will return your chapstick. Next time, no more chapstick in English class," The principal reasoned. 

Napoleon nodded and left the room and ran all the way to the bus. 

Kip sat at the dining room table putting on his shoes to go get Lafawnduh when the phone rang. He stopped and went to get the phone, "Hello." 

"Kip it's Lafawnduh," the voice came from the other end of the line. 

"Hi, baby," Kip said, _trying _to sound sexy. 

Lafawnduh sounded disappointed, "I'm sorry baby but I won't be here today. Our bus broke down and it's going to take at least a day to fix." 

Kip sighed, "All right, love you." 

"Love you too," Lafawnduh said. 

"Peace out," Kip said sadly and returned the phone on the cradle. 

Uncle Rico stood in the meat section of the grocery store and searched for steak. He passed all the usual meats, bacon, ham, lamb, but no steak. Dissatisfied, Uncle Rico marched up to the front desk to find Summer Wheatly, the cashier, smacking on her gum and reading a teen magazine. 

"Miss, you're out of steak," Uncle Rico said tapping a finger impatiently on the counter. 

Summer looked up from the magazine, but continued to smack on her gum, "_So_?" 

Uncle Rico gave a little chuckle, "Well I need some steak, do you have any?" 

"No," She said as she looked back down at her teen magazine. 

"Well when are you going to get more steak?" Uncle Rico said unhappily. 

Summer looked at Uncle Rico like he was brain dead, "When we get the next shipment, duh." 

Uncle Rico threw his hands up in the air, "Well when the heck is that gonna be!" 

"I don't know. A couple of days," She responded. 

Uncle Rico realized that this store had no steak for him, so he got back in his orange van and drove home steakless. 

Napoleon was sitting at the dining room table as Uncle Rico got home. He had just finished drawing his favorite animal, the Liger, and had just fished his tots. Uncle Rico walked into the kitchen very unhappy, "Napoleon why do you always have to sit around doin' nothing! Get your butt up and do something!" 

"Maybe I will, _gosh_," Napoleon snapped back to his frustrated uncle. 

Uncle Rico shook his head, "Why don't you call Pedro?" 

"We're in a fight, _idiot_," Napoleon said, not looking up from his Liger. 

"You can't talk to him because your fighting? That is the stupidest thing I've heard today, Napoleon!" Uncle Rico said as he, took a seat at the dining room table with Napoleon. 

"I can't talk to him for a couple of days, that's what fighting friends do. you'd know that if you _had_ any friends," Napoleon said helping himself to another tot. 

Uncle Rico ignored the comment, "Then just call him up and say that you're sorry!" 

Napoleon looked up and considered it. Pedro could help him get his chapstick back, "Maybe I will, _GOSH_!" And he stomped over to the phone. 

He picked up the phone and dragged the long cord over outside the front door where he could make the call and have a little privacy. He dialed in Pedro's number and waited while it rang a good three times before a female voice answered the call, "Hello?" 

"This is Napoleon, is Pedro there?" He asked. 

The female voice replied, "No, he's out back building something for some girl named Summer and he said not to be disturbed." 

Napoleon let out a _long_ sigh, "Kay." 

"Wait!" The voice said just before Napoleon hung up. 

"Yea," Napoleon replied. 

"Aren't you and Pedro in a fight? You can't talk to him for a few days anyway if you were," She reminded. 

Napoleon took a tot out of his pocket, "Well I'm saying I'm sorry so we can stop fighting and we can get my chapstick back. Will you tell him that?" 

"Yeah, sure," She said, "Bye." 

"Bye," and Napoleon hung up the phone. 

Napoleon walked back into the dining room where Kip had come through the back door. 

"Where's Lafawnduh?" Napoleon asked. 

"He bus broke down she won't be here for a day or two," Kip said taking off his doo-rag which Lafawnduh had picked out for him. 

Uncle Rico shook his head, "No steak." 

"No chapstick _or_ Pedro," Napoleon added. 

"No Lafawnduh!" Kip said sadly. 

Next Chapter in progress! 


End file.
